Monday, April 13, 2015

Make A Radical Feminist's Head Explode With This One Easy Blog Post!

**Note--I am a pro-life conservative.  I am NOT endorsing abortion on demand.  This is rather the inescapable end game if you a) embrace abortion on demand, b) obliterate the idea of any distinction on the basis of sex/gender, and c) use internally consistent logic.**

Allow me to play devil's advocate for those who argue for abortion on demand.  There is a stunning and inexcusable gap in current practice that must be addressed:

Abortion on demand must be available, without any additional restrictions beyond those already in place, for fathers.

I'm sure many radical feminists are even now taking to their fainting couches outrage blogs at the previous sentence alone, but we're only beginning.

Allowing only the woman carrying the baby to decide to have an abortion on demand is a clear violation of civil rights and equal protection.  It is obvious gender discrimination on its face alone.

Since having an abortion on demand is a right, per modern feminist theory and jurisprudence, one cannot deny that right to someone.  Furthermore, because it is a right, one may compel another to take actions to preserve and fulfill that right.  Denying that right to men is therefore a violation of men's civil rights on the basis of gender.

The father bears an equal burden financially for the baby as the mother by force of paternity laws, and so if the mother can have an abortion on demand because a child would be a financial burden to her, the father should be able to compel an abortion for the same reason.  In fact, since a mother is not required to provide any reason to have an abortion up to the 20th week of the pregnancy, a man should be able to have an abortion performed without providing a reason as well.

Feminists have long said that if men could get pregnant, there would be abortion clinics on every corner.  If men can obtain abortions on demand, I have no doubt that the demand will increase and that more clinics will open to supply that demand, which means more abortion clinics for women to use.

**Since this post is about a feminist issue, I will honor the great radical feminist blog custom of presenting straw men arguments and burning them down by indulging in it.  Cue the outrage blogs again.  It never is as much fun when someone apes the flawed tactics and statements of your most extreme members to make you look like absolute idiots, right feminists?**

**Andohbytheway, this whole blog post is satire, which is not hate speech, and thus protected speech.  Since I'm not a raving idiot who ignores the simple, obvious truth that there are in fact differences between the sexes/genders, I don't actually believe these arguments.**

Some feminists would argue that hoary old "her body, her choice!" line.  Well, I suppose one could argue that a risky medical procedure against a woman's will is unethical and possibly illegal, but fortunately feminists have abolished that concern with very public arguments that abortion is so safe that it needs no oversight and simple measures such as making sure that there is a nearby hospital that would handle any potential complications or that abortion clinics need to pass the sort of inspections for cleanliness that any other healthcare setting must are totally unnecessary burdens.  Bravo, Wendy Davis!

The father contributes half the genetic material, and so he has every bit as much claim to ownership of this "clump of cells" as the mother.  Now, some feminists might claim that we know with certainty who the mother is but not the father.  However, with a simple genetic test we can establish paternity beyond a reasonable doubt.  We don't even need to do an invasive procedure on the mother to obtain a sample, a simple blood test will accomplish it, which is such a minor burden for the mother that I'm certain courts would be happy to permit it.

Still other feminists might argue that since only a woman can get pregnant, only a woman can decide.  That sounds like gender discrimination pure and simple, which any good feminist will shriek is wrong in any other context, and we must be consistent.

As a side benefit, since there is a great deal of crossover from radical feminism to environmentalism, having abortions on demand for men will probably lead to a dramatic decrease in the birth rate once the men get to take mulligans on pregnancies, and there will be less people running around to pollute the Earth.

So, feminists, when it comes to abortion, remember to check your pregnancy privilege.